The Very Rev. Fredrick A. Robinson
The businessman came home from work one day to find the house in a shambles. The beds hadn’t been made, the kitchen sink was filled with dirty dishes, the children’s clothes, toys, and books were scattered throughout the house. In addition, dinner wasn’t ready.
“What in the world happened?” the man asked his wife as he surveyed the mess.
“Nothing,” she said. “Absolutely nothing. You are always wondering what I do all day long. Well take a look. Today I didn’t do it.”
Do you remember this song? “What do you get when you fall in love? You only get lies and pain and sorrow, so for at least until tomorrow, I’ll never fall in love again.”
Remember that song? It was written by Burt Bacharach and performed by Dionne Warwick. It came out in 1968. I was a sophomore in high school at the time. The song is about a failure in love. Who can’t identify?
There are all kinds of love—the love between a man and a woman, the love one friend has for another, the love that God has for us and that we have for God. On Mother’s Day we focus on the love of a mother for her child, certainly one of the strongest kinds of love there is.
We even use the word love when we talk about things. I love a good book. I love to hike. I love living in Sarasota. I love this church building.
If most people were asked to define love, they would begin with the words, “It’s a feeling…” It’s a feeling I have for my spouse, my friend, a feeling I have for God. The love described in the song, “What do you get when you fall in love,” is just that. It begins with a feeling and it ends with a feeling.
The word love describes how I feel about a good book or ice cream, but what about the love I have for my wife or my children? When I’m angry or hurt or sick or depressed and there’s not much room, if any, in my heart for anything positive, including feelings, does that mean I have fallen out of love? When a mother’s so mad at her child for disobeying her that she could spit nails, does that mean she doesn’t love her child? One of the strongest pictures of love that I have seen recently is a mother chasing her son, who was one of the rioters in Baltimore, chastising him for taking part in the riot. That is a mother’s love! Love is so much more than a feeling. Real love, when used in the context of relationships that matter to us, is a commitment to the other no matter how one feels.
William Willimon, a theologian and Methodist bishop, says this about love: “The person who says, ‘The Christian faith can be summed up in just three words, ‘God is love,’ hasn’t quite got it right. God is not only love, certainly not as we often use that slippery word. God is commitment, faithfulness even when we are not faithful. So the Old Testament frequently speaks, not just about the love of God, but the steadfast love of God. It is not a deep feeling which makes love Christian, but long-term endurance.”
In today’s Gospel, Jesus says to his disciples, “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you; abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love.”
If we want to see a perfect example of the love of God, we look to the earthly life of our Lord Jesus. Everything he taught and did was about love. The culmination of that life of love was his death on the cross. Dallas Willard, in his book The Divine Conspiracy, says, “When Jesus hung on the cross and prayed, ‘Father, forgive them because they do not understand what they are doing,’ that was not hard for him. What would have been hard for him would have been to curse his enemies and spew forth vileness and evil upon everyone, God and the world, as those crucified with him did, at least for a while. He calls us to him to impart himself to us. He does not call us to do what he did, but to be as he was, permeated with love. Then the doing of what he did and said becomes the natural expression of who we are in him”
Bobby Bowden, the famed football coach of Florida State University from 1976 to 2009, said, “I’ve always figured it’s easier to love than it is to hate. Love makes you feel good. I heard a wise man say once that love isn’t love until you give it away. I believe that. Besides, hating takes too much energy. I don’t have time for that. All hate does is destroy you and make you ugly.”
Jesus exhorts us to abide in his love, a love that does not seek its own good, but seeks the good of the other, a love that calls us to care for those in need, that calls us to forgive others when we have been hurt. Jesus calls us to that love that opens us to being vulnerable again and again. The song, “What do you get when you fall in love?” begins with the wrong premise. Instead, it should be “What do you give when you really love?” Lies and pain and sorrow may indeed be part of the bargain, but the other part is the joy that comes from abiding in Jesus, from opening ourselves fully to others, and ultimately to experiencing the kingdom of heaven.
Sermon preached by The Very Rev. Fredrick A. Robinson
Church of the Redeemer
Sarasota, Florida
The 6th Sunday of Easter
10 May 2015